


cotton candy

by andnowforyaya



Series: yaya's winter writing blast 2015 [2]
Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Coming Out, Genderfluid Character, M/M, Other, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 18:31:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5259179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andnowforyaya/pseuds/andnowforyaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daehyun’s hair is pink again. It has been a lot of colors since Junhong met them, way back when he was a freshman and Daehyun a chatty sophomore giving him his orientation tour, but Daehyun always seems to return to pink.</p>
            </blockquote>





	cotton candy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [almostblue (fictionalaspect)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalaspect/gifts).



> for [@shutuphimchan](https://twitter.com/shutuphimchan), who wanted a daelo with genderqueer daehyun and pink <3
> 
> also thanks for your feedback <3 hope this feels better <3

Daehyun’s hair is pink again. It has been a lot of colors since Junhong met them, way back when he was a freshman and Daehyun a chatty sophomore giving him his orientation tour, but Daehyun always seems to return to pink. It’s almost natural on them, the soft color making their lips pop and their eyes glow bright. Pink is the color Junhong thinks of whenever someone mentions Daehyun, the color of the sticky cotton-candy you got at fairs when you were a kid, melt-in-your-mouth.

The door to Daehyun’s little studio apartment beyond the north side of campus clangs shut behind them. The studio is tucked into a clean, new building, is basically a large closet for space, though Daehyun makes it work. There is a tiny kitchen that opens into a small living area that keeps getting smaller because the imaginary confines of Daehyun’s bedroom keep getting bigger, the bookshelves blocking off that space seeming to have moved every time Junhong visits, and then there is the little bathroom where Junhong always knocks himself into a sharp corner despite his careful, intentional, close-to-the-body movements.

Because the building is new, the walls had been stark white and the floors a pale laminated hardwood, as impersonal as an art gallery, but Daehyun had invited Junhong over in the beginning. They painted the wall in the kitchen a sky blue to open it up, and then the wall where Daehyun’s only windows let in natural light got the same treatment, and then Daehyun decided they liked it so much that they painted the rest of the walls blue, too. Little pink Daehyun in their little blue box of an apartment. Daehyun had pretended not to like it when Junhong said that, squealed and tackled him to the floor with their paintbrush in hand, swiping it over Junhong’s bare arms.

That was only the second time they’d kissed. They had progressed slowly but neither wanted it to go faster, anyway. Junhong loved every time Daehyun shyly reached for his hand, every time Junhong courageously reached out first. The first time they kissed had been after Junhong took Daehyun out on a date -- it had been a couple of weeks, now -- and Daehyun told him they had a very important thing to tell him.

“Shoot,” Junhong said, and that was usually enough to get Daehyun talking, the chatterbox. But Daehyun had both hands around their glass of water and seemed to be having a hard time looking at him, staring down into the glass like they’d find a goldfish in it, or something. “Daehyunnie,” Junhong said, softer this time, “what is it?”

He had been afraid maybe Daehyun was going to break up with him, that they hadn’t found Junhong exciting enough, or talented enough, or handsome enough. Instead, Daehyun took a breath and said, “You’re probably going to think this is so weird, but I had to -- tell you before we got any more serious--”

Junhong’s heart jumped at that word, serious. That was what he wanted, definitely.

“--so, I guess, here goes. Me telling you.”

Daehyun didn’t say anything for a moment. The waiter was about to come around again to see if they were ready to order, but neither of them had really looked at the menu yet. Then Daehyun said, “You probably think I’m a guy -- I mean, I’ve never said anything otherwise. But I’m not. A guy.”

Daehyun stopped there, looking at Junhong finally, eyes huge and a little sad. Junhong’s fingers played over the rim of his own glass of water. The first reaction that wanted to bubble up out of him was to respond with a joke, the kind of joke you’d tell around your friends, a reflex and thoughtless: “So, what, does that mean you’re a girl?” He thought maybe that wouldn’t be the right thing to say or do.

He decided to say, “What does that mean?” because he was genuinely interested, and he wanted to be careful.

A shadow seemed to lift itself from Daehyun’s face. They weren't quite smiling, but the promise of it was there, tucked into the corners of their lips. “It means,” Daehyun said, hesitating. “Like, sometimes I’m a guy, but sometimes I feel like a girl. And then sometimes I feel like neither, or both. But I’m still Daehyun? But I wanted to tell you before we order food, because.” Daehyun swallowed, a lump of emotion suddenly caught in their throat. Junhong could tell; Daehyun’s eyes filled suddenly with unshed tears.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Junhong said, still not really getting it, but he wanted to, and more importantly he needed Daehyun to stop looking so sad and guilty. He reached across the table and took one of Daehyun’s hands, small fingers intertwining with his own. “I mean it,” he said when Daehyun shook their head. “This doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”

Their dinner had been an awkward one, but sweet, with Daehyun embarrassed but happy. At the end of it they’d walked back to campus the long way, taking their time, pressed against each other like they were guarding each other from the wind. They’d kissed outside of Junhong’s door, as Junhong had been turning to go, stopped by a hand on his sleeve.

Now, Junhong grins at the memory.

“See something you like?” Daehyun asks, giving their hips a little shake. Daehyun has stripped themself of their jeans and pulled on a long, familiar sweater with the sleeves pulled over their fists. Their legs are bare.

“That’s my sweater,” Junhong says, throwing his bag onto the couch where it lands with a thump.

Daehyun takes three steps to the dresser, bending to open one of the drawers close to the ground. The sweater rises up past the swell of their bum, revealing magenta underpants, a little bow resting in the dip below the small of their back. “And here are your pants,” Daehyun says, throwing a bundle of soft cloth at Junhong: his sweats. “You left them last time.”

“You should just give me a drawer,” Junhong mumbles, changing into the sweats. He watches Daehyun rummage for something soft Junhong can wear on top, too, and Junhong feels slow warm smile spread across his face again like melting butter.

“What?” Daehyun says, turning and noticing Junhong’s stare. Daehyun self-consciously runs their hands through their hair before tossing Junhong another one of Junhong’s own sweaters, left behind in the many times he’s visited. Junhong changes as Daehyun takes another three steps to sit on the bed, fidgeting on the mattress before sitting back against the headboard, knees pulled up, pulling pillows and their floppy stuffed Build-A-Bear into their lap. “You don’t like it?” Daehyun chews on their bottom lip, chews on their thumbnail. Stares at Junhong with those big eyes. He can’t believe Daehyun is the older one.

“I love it. It looks good on you,” Junhong says truthfully, taking his tablet from his bag and climbing into bed after Daehyun. Daehyun makes space for him naturally, their bodies aligning. Daehyun’s head resting on Junhong’s shoulder, Junhong’s arm around Daehyun’s small, tight little waist. He breathes out and Daehyun sinks against his body, familiar and warm.

.

 


End file.
